OVERCOMING SOCIAL ANXIETY PDF
Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step-by-Step. To Everyone who has purchased this series: As explained in all our descriptions of the audio series, this program. Overcoming. Social Anxiety. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to. Build Self- Confidence and. Lessen Self-Consciousness. Larry Cohen, LICSW. Cofounder. If you have social anxiety disorder, there are a number of strategies that you can use to learn to overcome your fear of social situations. For social anxiety.
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The information I share with you in this PDF is based upon more than a decade of study of social anxiety and the solutions to it, modelling top therapists. Recognise whether you may be experiencing symptoms of social anxiety. • Understand what social . What prevents us overcoming social anxiety? Unhelpful. Overcoming Social Anxiety - Handouts - Dr, Thomas A. pixia-club.info - Download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read online.
This tool will not give you an official diagnosis, but it may allow you to consider different aspects of social anxiety. Self-consciousness and fear of being the center of attention behavioral attributes and irrational thinking habits and patterns cognitive attributes are the defining hallmarks of social anxiety disorder.
Everyone with social anxiety disorder suffers from these specific cognitive and behavioral symptoms. Beyond this point, other symptoms exist along a continuum. Some people with social anxiety find certain problems primary, whereas others find the same problem not as difficult. Cognitive mental symptoms of social anxiety: One thing that socially anxious people share is the knowledge that their thoughts and fears are basically irrational.
That is, people with social anxiety know that their thoughts are not logical or rational when asked to explain them. For example, they realize others are not critically judging or evaluating them all the time, despite how they feel. They understand that other people are not trying to embarrass or humiliate them, despite how they may feel. They realize that their thoughts and feelings are somewhat irrational. Yet, despite this logical understanding, thought patterns that have existed for years do not magically go away overnight.
Physiological symptoms of social anxiety include - writing in public - eating or drinking in public - blushing - freezing when being the center of attention - body dysmorphia The good news is that social anxiety is not only treatable, but the treatment is also successful.
Social anxiety no longer needs to be a life-long, devastating condition. It is these automatic feelings and thoughts that occur in social situations that must be met and conquered in therapy. Can anyone overcome social anxiety? But, barring cognitive problems e. Systematically going through an appropriate cognitive-behavioral program, like "Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step" allows your brain to change and develop new habits, if you stick with it every day and reinforce the strategies until each strategy becomes an automatic habit.
What is the Social Anxiety Institute? The Social Anxiety Institute is the foremost institution in the world for treating social anxiety. The Institute Director, Dr. Thomas A. Richards, has specialized in social anxiety since the early s and the Social Anxiety Institute has had many thousands of patients.
Who is Dr. Richards is a licensed psychologist and director of the Social Anxiety Institute. He received his M.
Sandra was extremely nervous about having to do this and she knew that the longer she had to worry the worse she would feel. So she decided to do it immediately.
Does this happen to you every day?
The meeting was just starting. How odd did they think it was? He had unexpectedly been called out. It seemed like an eternity before she thought of explaining that she could not read his writing and passed the note to someone else. Each time it came back she was covered with confusion again. She described herself later as childishlooking.
She hesitated. As the silence went on she was convinced that all eyes were upon her. The image of seeing herself as others saw her haunted her for the rest of the day.
When they could do no better than she had done. As he became aware that they could hear everything he was saying. One of them noticed this and told the others to be quieter.
How much attention was she paying to herself? Andrew Andrew was talking on the telephone when three people he knew walked into the room. He could no longer concentrate on what he was saying. They must have walked through the room and out the other side. He was astonished when he looked up that the others were no longer there.
Frantically he wondered how to end the conversation. It had dominated his thoughts to the extent that he was unaware of anything else. He spoke even more quietly. It was the thought that they might have been listening and judging him that had made him so self-conscious. Summary of the effects of self-consciousness All three case studies show how self-consciousness can have a dramatic effect on how you behave. Andrew tried to speak as quietly as possible.
Try to think through one or two of them in detail. How self-consciousness affects you Think about some specific instances of self-consciousness from your own experience. And you may have filled any gaps using your own imagination. Describe the first example here: Now describe the second example: You may find this hard to believe in your own case.
When your attention is turned inwards it becomes difficult to do the following things: Many of the conclusions that people reach when they feel selfconscious are based on their inner experience of the feelings.
Find out if you suffer from Social Phobia
You may imagine that other people can see all the signs of anxiety and inadequacy that you feel. And you may believe that other people are judging you negatively when they see them.
For each specific situation you described above. Your conclusions may be negative.
Having this attitude helps you to interact with others more smoothly and more naturally. Become an observer Your task is to watch what happens. Reducing self-consciousness The key to reducing self consciousness is to learn how to focus more of your attention on what is happening outside yourself.
Try to make sure that you are not. This includes the other people around you — the source of your fear. Being curious will help you do just this. To do this. Think of yourself as exploring and investigating so as to reach a balanced opinion. You need to forget yourself enough to become absorbed in your social life instead. Your opinion should be one that an outside observer of the same situation would also agree with.
But most of the time when you feel socially anxious. As you know. How to do it Of course. This is highly likely to be influenced by your expectations and assumptions. In Section 3 you will learn the thinking skills to help you to deal with thoughts about social danger and catastrophe. Stage 1: Deciding not to think about how bad you feel It would be useful for unpleasant thoughts.
It is helpful to think of learning to divert your attention as a two-stage process: When your heart is thumping and you cannot find the words with which to express yourself. Use the case studies at the start of this chapter. Before long you just wish that the ground would open and swallow you up. Write them down here. Thoughts such as these are common.
One advantage of forcing yourself to focus on people and things around you is that it gives you some recovery time. In the space below see if you can write down the advantages for you of not thinking about how bad you are feeling. But in fact. Then make the decision to turn your attention away from these thoughts when they come into your head — which undoubtedly they will. Instead try to achieve a balance between internal and external focusing.
You would not. You should try to give more attention to the person or people with whom you are interacting. Stage 2: This might seem very difficult at first. Imagine that you were going to describe them to someone else and make mental notes about them. Make a list here of some of the other things you could observe or do to keep your attention focused on other people and away from yourself. This is entirely normal. It may help to think about something external and unthreatening.
You may find. The two-way experiment The two-way experiment can help you to learn how to control what you pay attention to. When this happens. Unless we are especially relaxed and sleepy.
It involves trying things out in two completely different. Turn your attention outwards again. Then you need to do the exact opposite. It takes some courage to carry out this experiment. You need to become curious and find out what happens if you pay attention exclusively to yourself. The supermarket queue experiment Choose a setting when you are not much involved. Step 1: Focus on yourself Notice all the physical sensations that you can feel.
This could be standing in the supermarket queue. That means forcing yourself to pay attention exclusively to someone else or to something outside of yourself. It is all right to let your mind wander on to your own concerns and worries. If your mind wanders. Make them more or less intense? Is anything too tight or too loose? Any thoughts or images? Or impressions? Or memories?
Continue doing this for three to five minutes. Then ask yourself the two assessment questions: Make a mental note of them. About their expressions. Without obviously staring at them. Or describe exactly what one of them was doing while you were focusing on yourself? You should make sure that your answers are clear to yourself. Try to observe anything you can think of that might be of interest to you. Step 2: Reverse the experiment The next step is to reverse the experiment.
If it seems natural and appropriate. For another few minutes try to focus your attention exclusively outside yourself. Notice something about each of the people around you. Draw some conclusions about what happened. Then ask yourself the two assessment questions again: Make sure your answers are clear again.
Rather like pulling a pendulum back before swinging it in the other direction. Doing a brief two-way mini-experiment when talking to someone is particularly helpful. You may need to carry out a few two-way experiments to gain the maximum benefit from them.
Sum up Finally. In the end you might find a mid-point of attentionfocusing. Notice your feelings. The two-way experiment worksheet Step 1.
Notice how your clothes feel on your body. Focus on yourself for three to five minutes. Write down as. Write down as much as you can here. Focus on things outside yourself for three to five minutes. Step 2. What was different? What was the same? Step 4. Compare the two. Step 3. Summarize your conclusions: Self focus Other focus Which made you feel better? Which gave you more of the information. Was focusing on other people difficult to achieve?
How did you do it? Do you need more practice to achieve the desired effect? Making use of observation: At the arrivals gate you would see another lot of people meeting up and greeting each other. As a curious observer of people in this setting you would notice that there are many different ways of parting and greeting. What happens depends on many things: They also assume that what they do will fall short of this ideal. But whose way of behaving is the ideal?
At the airport we can see that either ideals are very different between people or that the range of acceptable practice is much wider than anxious people suppose it is. In the end people do whatever they feel comfortable with. This is why there is no need to be selfconscious about the way you do things. But shy people. If there are no absolute ideals for how we should behave. There is clearly no single or right way of saying hello and goodbye.
You might want to place a tick beside any you relate to. At the same time you may feel so inferior and inadequate that you believe that no one is at all interested in you.
Opposite effects of social anxiety One of the odd things about social anxiety is that it produces a number of effects that are often the opposite to each other. At the same time you may be quite uncertain about your identity — about who you are.
They think that it is based on the assumption that you matter so much that everyone pays. Many sufferers believe that they are in some way weak. This is combined with the fear that this inferiority will be noticed and will prevent you getting on with people and feeling that you belong.
But you are quite sure that everyone notices you. In fact. Some people. But you want to be invisible. Self-consciousness and keeping safe.
But you still want your individuality to be recognized and to be able to realize your potential. Learning the techniques for reducing self-consciousness is one way in which you can discover for yourself that you possess all the qualities you need right now to form happy and positive relationships with other people.
But you find it hard to stop doing things that make the bad feelings worse. You just need to build your confidence and express the real you. There is another explanation for why it can be difficult to put the suggestions in this section into effect. When you are overtaken by a bout of self-consciousness it can be extremely difficult to turn your attention away from yourself.
It can feel as if you dare not focus your attention on the outside world. The inward focus that goes with self-consciousness. This fear makes it hard to turn your attention outwards: It is easier to glance briefly up and then look away. They alert you to the possibility of danger out there without giving you long enough to assess its reality or to think about how to defuse it. But brief ventures into the outside world in this way tend to increase your fear rather than to reduce it.
Reducing negative thinking patterns can help you do things differently and to become socially involved with people in more spontaneous. And it determines the kind of information that you store about what happened. It also affects the way you interpret the information that you have noticed. Focusing on your own feelings and thoughts affects what you notice. The case study below reveals the many ways in which patterns of thinking can affect people who are socially anxious or shy.
Changing Thinking Patterns This section will help you understand: Looking at kinds of thoughts Thoughts. Read the case study carefully and count the number of thinking patterns you can find.
You wonder if you can ever change. The longer this train of thoughts goes on the more dispirited and the sadder you feel. You decide you will never do that sort of thing again. In this case study: Only some of them are described as thoughts.
Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness Extract.pdf - CR007...
Images come to mind that bring back all the embarrassment and nervousness that you felt at the time. Other shy people seem to have managed to grow out of it.
This makes it harder for you to join in the conversation. There is a pause in the conversation as you walk in and you think: Other thoughts also go through your mind. You look out for a way of leaving early. You wonder if you will ever be able to think of anything to say and start to feel uncomfortably hot. You think: Different kinds of thoughts You may have noticed your thoughts. Thoughts include: This is not something that people usually ask you to do. Or you may hardly have noticed them at all.
The last paragraph of the case study shows how one thought leads on to another in an increasingly distressing stream which reflects the meaning to you of what happened. When your thoughts go unnoticed this may be partly because thoughts are of many different kinds.
Nobody really wants to think about exactly how foolish they appeared. They also describe having related images. These could be based on memories of a particularly painful experience. All of these ways of thinking reflect what goes on in your mind in different ways.
Expectations like expecting to be judged are common in. Often such images have something in common with what is happening in the present. Many people. Thoughts may be reflected in images or impressions of yourself which come from an earlier stage of life. This is true even if you are not fully aware of some of your thoughts. Examples of kinds of thoughts Thoughts can be like half-formed ideas. Section 5.
Or you may believe that everyone is more confident and competent than you are. Having an expectation can be more like having an attitude that influences the way you think about things. Negative beliefs. If this is what you believe. You may have beliefs about other people as well as yourself.
The main strategies for changing thinking patterns This section describes the main strategies for dealing with thoughts.
These are all ways of thinking. Thinking this way also reveals a lack of belief in yourself. Find out what you are thinking. There will be some here that are relevant to everyone — even those people who are only rarely socially anxious.
These strategies will help you learn how to tune in to your thoughts and then to take another look at them. Section 2 of Part Three focuses on the types of underlying assumptions and beliefs that can make it hard to build up more confidence in yourself socially.
They can slow down your progress if you do not make a special effort to change them also. Your problem may seem to be confusing. There are two steps: This section focuses on thought patterns that are relatively easy to recognize. The way you are currently thinking is keeping your social anxiety going. Finding another way of seeing things will make you feel better and be more helpful to you. The straightforward examples in the rest of this section will help you to learn what to do. This is easier said than done because the sorts of thoughts — and images — that make anxiety worse are often difficult to identify.
They come and go quickly. I started to feel really stupid. The situation A meeting at work. Think now about a recent situation in which you felt socially anxious. The first step is to become aware of what runs through your mind when you feel tense or anxious. I thought they were noticing I was blushing and looking nervous and that made me feel still more nervous. An image popped into my. They are like bad habits: Key questions for Step 1: And after that? And when it was all over?
I thought my colleagues would think my idea was nothing new or original and that I was making a fool of myself. Perhaps it was a party. I had to present an idea to the group. When you can remember the situation quite clearly. I felt worse the more I thought about what other people might be noticing about my behaviour or thinking about me. What does having this experience mean to you?
Other people can do that kind of thing. Did any of your thoughts make you feel worse? What was the worst thing that might have happened at the time? People could have laughed out loud at my idea. Everyone had laughed at me then and I can still remember how awful I had felt — humiliated.
What does it mean about you? What is it about this situation that matters to you? The situation: Now answer the questions for yourself with a particular personal situation in mind. Sometimes it is easy to make this fit: Try to stand back from the problem far enough to identify your personal perspective on it. Linking thoughts and feelings When identifying the thoughts that are important and relevant for you. Sometimes it is much harder. Thinking about what the situation means to you and why it matters to you helps to identify these thoughts.
Maybe the powerful feeling for example. It will also help you to separate them from the feelings that went with them. Extra blank copies are provided at the back of the book.
An example of a completed form has also been provided.
Writing things down is a good way of developing the habit of recognizing what you are thinking. See if you can put into words the things that go through your mind.
If that is the case try doing something that makes you feel anxious. Use these as cues to help put into words the things that go through your mind when you are anxious: Always start by thinking of specific situations or incidents that happened to you recently.
They can have a significant impact on the way you feel. Another option is to ask yourself the key questions about what the situation means about you. Answering these questions may help you put some of your attitudes and expectations into words. Refer to the key questions above and use them as prompts. Note down: Your aim at this stage should be to pay close attention to your thoughts when you feel anxious or upset.
These are not like thoughts that run through your mind at the time. Get into a habit of making a mental note of what happens and writing it down as soon as you can. If you always start by thinking about specific situations. It may help you to recognize how your thoughts — what happens in your mind — keep.
The thoughts come and go quickly. This is because you will know where in your memory to start looking for them. Think about any memories. Doing this exercise is like becoming an expert mechanic who listens to the sound of the engine. This often helps in understanding why you felt so bad at the time. Be accurate It is important to be as accurate in observing your feelings and thoughts as you can.
So use this workbook and keep it to hand as far as possible. It is important not to just dwell on the feelings themselves. Also images provoke strong feelings. If you had an image of being yelled at in public and wanting to run away and hide.
After the event.
Such impressions may continue to influence the present even though they really belong in the past. During the event During the event many people go in for mind reading. Or they catastrophize. Patterns of biased thinking Different kinds of thoughts typically occur before. Before the event Before the event you may make predictions: Getting rid of the bias and getting your thoughts back in perspective will make you feel better. This may help to explain why we readily fall into patterns of thinking.
They are therefore likely to be inaccurate. Like looking through a pair of distorting spectacles. Afterwards it can be difficult to stop dwelling on what you think went wrong. If you can identify your favourite ways of thinking. Most of us tend to think in favourite ways. If you can do this you will have made a major step in overcoming your social anxiety. These are all what therapists call biased ways of thinking.
They are biased thoughts because they are influenced by your habit of taking an anxious perspective on things. I wonder what I can do to make it better? Describe what happened here. Taking the blame This involves taking responsibility for something when it is not yours.
It must be my fault. Have you done this recently? Discounting the positive This involves rejecting good things as if they did not count or using a negative filter. Mind reading This involves believing that you know what others are thinking. Emotional reasoning This involves mistaking feelings for facts: Catastrophizing This involves thinking that if something goes wrong it will be a disaster: Predicting the future.
Over-generalizing This involves assuming that because something happened once. Wishful thinking This involves supposing things would be better if they were different.
Can you now work out which types of thinking you do most often? Looking for alternative ways of thinking.. Describe what happened here..
Looking for alternative ways of thinking is one of the main things you can do to make yourself feel better. The rest of this section explains how to do this using pencil and paper, and how to do it in your head. More methods are also described in the next sections on doing things differently and building up confidence. All these strategies can be used to help you to rethink your attitudes to your social life, your assumptions about it, and the way that you approach it.
Once you know what you are thinking, the next step is to reexamine your thoughts. The aim is to learn to question your thoughts, rather than accept them as facts. Explore them, and the things that spring to mind when you think about them. See whether they fit together, make sense and are helpful to you. When you do this you will find that there is no one right way of seeing things. Rather, there are many possibilities.
Some can make you feel worse, and others can make you feel better. Imagine you are having a meal with a number of other people. You might think that everyone else is doing things right, but you are doing them wrong. Thinking this way will probably make you feel tense and nervous about what you say and do, and very self-conscious. As a result it becomes hard to relax or to eat, or to think of anything else. However, there are other ways of thinking about the same situation. Here are some of the other options: The point is that there is a far wider choice of ways of thinking than springs to mind at first.
You could see the clouds in the sky as a sign of rain, and feel disappointed. Or you could see them as a chance of sunshine and feel altogether more cheerful. There are many other options as well. The way you think, and what you choose to think about will affect the way you feel.
They might feel less upset if instead they asked themselves,. I may be no odder than lots of people. What would you think if someone you knew well but had not seen for a while passed close by to you in the street but did not even smile? If so, this is a good example of the kind of guesswork that ties in with the fear that others will think badly about you, but which is not based on the facts of what happened.
Stop and think for a minute about what you would really think in this situation. Write down your ideas here. Questioning your upsetting thoughts You can learn to find alternatives to upsetting thoughts such as those described above by asking yourself some more key questions. Key questions for Step 2: Looking for alternatives The event: Sally is 50 and married with two grown-up children. She spots a woman who she knows from the local neighbourhood watch group she belongs to.
Marie has always been quite chatty and friendly in the past and had asked her over for coffee a few times. Sally feels hurt and rejected and decides what she had to say must have been very boring. The evidence against this is that Marie explained she had to go and check on her family and this may have been true. Someone else might observe that Sally seems overly sensitive and perhaps is being unfair to Marie. The fact that Marie has to leave is not a direct insult.
What is the worst possible way of seeing things. Another person at the party might observe that Marie is a very busy woman who takes her role as mother very seriously. What possible alternatives are there? What would Sally think if she were more confident?
How might someone else view this situation? What would you say to someone else who was thinking in this sort of way? What would someone who cared about you say? If she were more confident Sally might think that she is an interesting and nice person and that she and Marie have always got on well in the past.
What evidence does Sally have to support what she thinks? What evidence is there against it? Which way of thinking fits best with the facts? The fact that you think something does not make it true.
Someone who cared for Sally might say that she is being overly hard on herself. The best thing that could happen is that Marie invites her over for a morning coffee and a proper catch-up soon. Marie has never liked her and was just being polite all those other times. Which is most realistic? Or most likely to be right? The worst way of seeing things is that Sally is right. The best way of seeing things is that Marie had to get back to her child and was sorry not to be able to spend more time with Sally.
Is she predicting the future as a certainty? Or mind reading? Or focusing on the negative side of things at the expense of everything else? Sally jumps to the conclusion that Marie leaves suddenly because she finds Sally boring.
What is the best way of seeing things. She focuses on the negative fact that Marie left rather than remembering all the other times Marie has actively sought out her company. She exaggerates the importance of Marie leaving and takes it personally. She over-generalizes from the fact that Marie left that Marie has never liked her and engages in mind-reading that this is what Marie actually thinks. Sally could change things by spending more time with Marie and other friends so that she feels more confident about herself and what she has to offer as a friend.
Sally is a kind person who has given Marie support in the past. Sally could talk to other neighbours and check how Marie is getting along and whether she needs help. What could Sally do that would be helpful? What personal skills and strengths does she have to help? What past experience of dealing with similar problems? What help. After you have gotten used to asking yourself the detailed questions you may find it easier to use the simple two-column thought record shown on page Answering your upsetting thoughts Use these questions constantly to help you to rethink.
The aim is to search your mind for other ways of thinking. She could certainly keep an open mind that this one occasion does not prove that Marie actually dislikes her. What can she do to change things? There are extra blank versions of this form at the back of the book. Now think about a recent situation you found upsetting and answer these same questions. Can you find another way of thinking about it? Putting the new ideas into words by completing a thought record like the one below brings them into focus.
Vague ideas are less likely to have a beneficial effect on how you feel than ones that are clearer. Sometimes people think they can reexamine their thoughts without writing things down — doing it in their heads — and. Otherwise it is tempting to be satisfied with a rather vague notion of having achieved a different way of seeing things. Instead the aim of the exercise is to lead you towards a more balanced. These tend to push you into extreme positions such as thinking: Here are some examples of more balanced thinking: A good alternative is one that: Watch out for your favourites.
Take yourself on a mind-trip. Ask yourself whether the new way of thinking would help you to achieve those goals. You might find yourself saying something like: You are the best person to judge which ones will work for you. Good alternatives also help you to break old patterns of thinking like the biases listed earlier.
Look at the alternatives that you find alongside the overcoming social anxiety goals that you set yourself to begin with see page 6. Prompt yourself with: They also suggest that there are definite rules that you must obey rather than various sets of social conventions which have grown up gradually and that in practice are frequently broken. Pressurizing thoughts Examples of pressurizing thoughts include: They make you feel less pressurized. Looking for less pressurizing alternatives may feel uncomfortable at first.
One way round this problem is to try thinking in terms of preferences. Think of the people you know who break the conventions but do not worry about it.. In the end they work against you because the pressure adds to the tension and anxiety.
Many people use these words to motivate themselves. List here some of the pressurizing thoughts you use about yourself and try to write a less pressurizing alternative. Pressurizing thought: I must socialize more at work. Are they true when you really examine. Examples of extremist thoughts are: Extremist thoughts Extremist thoughts contain extreme words such as always. Perhaps they could be true. List here some of the extremist thoughts you have about yourself and your social anxiety.
Sometimes the pressurizing and the extremist words come together. In some circumstances they make sense — and these examples illustrate well the kinds of things that parents and teachers tend to say. Here are some examples: We often want to do things our own way irrespective of what others want. Some of the options might be: Do you sometimes think in both pressurizing and extremist ways? Write down some examples here and then try to find a more balanced alternative.
Threats work less well than rewards when you are learning something new. They define the kinds of strategies that it can be helpful to develop. This makes it easy to doubt any new perspectives. I know they seemed to like me. So in the first example above. What makes searching for alternatives difficult? Write a more balanced alternative here.
The inner critic Another difficulty with finding alternatives arises when you pay too much attention to the internal voice that: Sometimes it has recognizable characteristics of our parents. This internal monologue. All of us can have an inner conversation with ourselves at times. Once again the answer is to stick to the facts. Feeling low Feeling discouraged. Think about a time when you felt different.
Sometimes it reflects our own self-opinion: The trouble with this internal voice is that it comes from inside. You will need to see if you can amplify the scanner.
Although feeling low about yourself does make it difficult at first to. It is as if your black mood colours the way you see things. If this happens to you. Look back to page 3 of Part One. Reminding yourself of your strengths, qualities and talents may help you. Remembering social events that went well may also help you. How to make it easier for yourself Most people who have suffered from social anxiety or shyness try hard to overcome their difficulties.
Like them, you probably do. So it is not for want of trying that the problem of social anxiety persists. Targeting these efforts more effectively and more efficiently, so that you succeed in breaking the vicious cycles that otherwise keep social anxiety going, is highly likely to be more helpful.
But it may be difficult at first. Doing new things in new ways can be alarming and feel risky. Helping yourself takes courage and it takes persistence. If you knew someone else who was undertaking such a task, how would you set about helping them? What would they require from you? Three important contributions to their efforts would be: Unfortunately it seems to be far easier to see how to give these things to someone else than to yourself.
Instead they go in for self-blame, criticism and name calling. These are obvious examples of negative and unhelpful ways of thinking, and shy or anxious people can be far more creative than this when putting themselves down. It would be easier to make effective changes if you became more compassionate with yourself. Spend some time working out how to understand your own particular version of social anxiety and what keeps it going.
Overcoming Social Anxiety - Handouts - Dr, Thomas A. Richards.pdf
This is much more likely to help and encourage you in your effort to change. Although this may sound obvious — or trivial or patronizing — it is a very important point. It is far too easy to ignore the damaging effect of saying such negative and harsh things to yourself. Putting the steps together The two steps for changing thinking patterns are: Putting these two steps together helps you to get better at finding the ways of thinking that make you feel better, and it also helps you think about how to put the new ways of thinking into effect: Changing behaviour is the topic of Section 4.
Here we will concentrate on combining the steps for changing patterns of thinking. The way to do this is shown in the thought record overleaf, and blank copies of the complete thought record can be found at the back of this book. Writing about changes in feelings You will notice that there are extra columns in the complete thought record that did not appear in the two earlier versions of it on pages 64 and As you will see from the examples, some new ways of thinking have less effect than others.
Some, like the last one shown here, may still give you some ideas about what to do even if they do not, at the time, make you feel any better. Remember, you are looking for new ways of thinking that make you feel better and that help you to do the things that you want to do. It may take some practice before you can bring them to mind when you need them.
The point of this column is to remind you that you will gain most if you are able to put the new ways of thinking into effect to change your behaviour as well as your thinking. For now you should think about what you would like to be able to do differently. Section 4 explains more about how to do this. This is where you should write down what you would like to do differently. The examples in the completed record shown on the previous page have been written to illustrate how to use this worksheet.
But remember. You can use any of the ideas in this book to start you thinking about what kind of action plan you would like to be able to make for yourself. Be honest It is important to be honest with yourself when you fill in these worksheets. As Sally. But writing things down is important when you begin. Thinking things through in your head is far more difficult than it might seem.Would it be helpful to take some medication? There are two steps: But we can not make the leap all at once.
These are obvious examples of negative and unhelpful ways of thinking, and shy or anxious people can be far more creative than this when putting themselves down.
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